If Dustin is a reflection of his wife, well....

Did you know that as recent as the 1970's, it's believed that a service member's spouse's participation (read: "reputation") was a factor in considering promotions?

Here's the real shocker: according to some people, this practice continues today, albeit in a more discreet, elusive sort of way. Not buying it? I'm not sure I am either. I mean, Dustin's made it this far, hasn't he?

Even so, here's what a retired Navy reader recently sent me via email after one of my finger-pointing columns about military medicine:

A word to the wise: in my day not all the inputs considered by promotion boards were written down… you may want to wash soiled linen within the service in order to preclude a future whine about the promotion process.

I receive this sentiment a lot, actually. One of the most frequently asked questions about my column is, "Your husband lets you write that?"

Coincidentally, there is a heated debate ongoing at Military.com's message board titled "Reflection of our spouses?" where back and forth, military spouses are arguing over whether or not our actions -- our lives -- can affect our spouse's career.

So, to put an end to the bickering, I've decided to pose a little scientific study. Let's say I ask this question, "If I, Sarah Smiley, am merely a reflection on my spouse and not a separate human being, who, by the way, happens to be a civilian…," (remember this is very scientific), then it is safe to assume the following:

Dustin Smiley forgets to shave his legs every other day.

Dustin Smiley dyed his hair blonde, but thought it looked fake, so he's gone back to brown.

Dustin Smiley wishes he could remember that it takes two-thirds cup of water to make microwave macaroni and cheese, but, alas, he has to read the small print on the back of the box every single time.

Dustin Smiley gets a giant blister on his right toe when he wears his favorite red high heels.

Dustin Smiley always gets the loud shopping cart with the lopsided wheels.

Dustin Smiley still hasn't figured out how to do the "self check out" at Wal-Mart.

Dustin Smiley is trying to lose weight, but a love for chocolate frosting is proving that to be difficult.

Dustin Smiley rarely showers before he takes the kids to school in the morning.

Dustin Smiley is afraid of mice.

Dustin Smiley nearly threw out his shoulder trying on one of those fancy girdles with the nice new name, "Spanx."

Dustin Smiley's greatest fear is being trapped in a public bathroom stall, because he'd rather sit there and starve than crawl on the floor underneath to get out.

Dustin Smiley's favorite spectator sport is bull riding, although this has less to do with the "sport," and more to do with the riders.

Dustin Smiley is trying to cut back to only two Diet Dr. Peppers a day, which is only causing him to eat more chocolate frosting.

When Dustin Smiley is nervous, he grinds his teeth so hard, his nose gets numb.

Dustin Smiley feels cranky in the morning if his pants are too tight, his underwear too large, or if his hair looks like someone hit him over the head with a frying pan.

Dustin Smiley mistakenly believes he has a good voice when he sings "Gilligan's Island" in the shower.

Nothing says home to Dustin Smiley like a nice pair of leopard print slippers and flannel pajamas.

Dustin Smiley once tried to count to a million and threw up.

And last, Dustin Smiley married a fantastic spouse!

So, judging by our little experiment, I think it's safe to say just one thing -- Dustin Smiley's wife has issues.

As for all this reflecting-on-our-spouses stuff, well, I just hope the reverse isn't true (that our husbands reflect upon us), because that would mean I'm terrible with directions and that I have a five o'clock shadow by Noon.